Welcome to Roysambu, where the roads have more potholes than a slice of Swiss cheese, and the sewers are so well-connected, they’re literally running on the streets! Forget about trying to drive or walking or worst tuktuk ride here—bring a canoe, because at this rate, the streets might just be turning into rivers if not quarries of stones.But hey, who needs smooth roads when you’ve got the experience of dodging craters and holding your breath as you pass by the latest burst sewer pipe? It’s like a real-life obstacle course, except there’s no prize at the end—just a dusty, bumpy ride that leaves you wondering why you even bothered.
Education: Where Learning is a Privilege
In Roysambu, we believe in the power of education—just not when it’s affordable. Public schools? Sure, they exist, but try getting your kids into one without breaking the bank. School fees are so high, you might start questioning if you’re paying for a Harvard education. And once you’ve paid, don’t be surprised if the quality of education makes you feel like you’ve been scammed. But don’t worry, the school buildings might collapse before the students’ spirits do—talk about resilience!
Water and Electricity: A Game of Rationing Roulette 
Now, let’s talk about water and electricity. Or rather, let’s talk about the lack of them. In Roysambu, every day is a new adventure as you guess whether the water will flow from your tap or if the lights will turn on. It’s like playing a game, except this one leaves you parched and sitting in the dark. And when you do get that rare flow of water or flash of electricity, it feels like winning the lottery—only to realize it’s short-lived. But hey, who needs a steady supply of water and power when you’ve got the thrill of uncertainty?
Insecurity: Who Turned Off the Lights?
As the sun sets in Roysambu, the streets go dark—literally. Streetlights? We don’t need those! They only make it easier to see the potholes. Walking home at night is like starring in your very own horror movie, except the monster is the shadowy figure you can’t quite see. Its worse trying to imagine how you heard your neighbor who was ‘ngetad’ last night. But don’t worry, we’re sure the neighborhood watch group (which doesn’t actually exist) will keep you safe. Or maybe it’s the friendly dogs roaming the streets? Either way, staying indoors after sunset seems like a good idea.
Uninhabitable Environment: Breathe in… Or Maybe Not
And if you think things couldn’t get worse, just take a deep breath—if you dare. The air in Roysambu is so fresh, it comes with a side of raw sewer aroma. Our local flora includes overgrown weeds, and the fauna? Let’s just say the rats here are big enough to challenge a cat to a duel. Who needs clean parks and open spaces when you can have a jungle right outside your door?
A Vision for Roysambu: From Potholes to Progress
But enough with the jokes—it’s time to get serious about change. Roysambu deserves better. We need leaders who understand our struggles and are committed to making things better. 
That’s why we’re rallying behind J Munene for MP 2027 and beyond. With Munene, we believe in Creating lasting relationships because together we can do more. His people’s manifesto promises real, tangible change, turning Roysambu into the Shenzhen of Kenya—a place where the roads are smooth, the sewers are functioning, and the air is clean.
Let’s make Roysambu a place we’re proud to call home,#RoysambuNiHome. No more dodging potholes or wading through raw sewage. It’s time to take action, lets come together in readiness to vote for real change, and watch as our community transforms into something remarkable. After all, with the right leadership, Roysambu’s future is as bright as the streetlights we’re going to have—finally!
